


Let it be said, my dear, I was gonna wait for you

by Rats_As_Models



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, Blood and Injury, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Abuse, Crying, Emotional Manipulation, Emotions, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Goat Hybrid Tubbo, Going insane, Heavy Emotions, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Hybrid Toby Smith | Tubbo, Hybrids, I hate tagging, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Major Character Injury, No Beta We Die Like Endermen, No Fluff, Screaming, Swearing, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo-centric, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Swears (Video Blogging RPF), Yelling, not graphic tho, oof ouch, or the beginnings of it, screeching our lungs out, slight mention of scars, so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28830375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rats_As_Models/pseuds/Rats_As_Models
Summary: Tubbo wrapped his hands around the disc, fingers digging into the grooves of the object, his tears falling onto it. He sobbed openly, the gentle breeze brushing against his back, sending a chill down his spine. His throat was sore as he fought to breathe. The world seemed to spin around him, filled with so much silence and yet so much noise, so cold yet so fucking hot, he couldn't handle it he couldn't he couldn't-"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, take me back, take me back take me back I want you back please come back please-"
Relationships: AAAAAAAAAAAAA - Relationship, Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, YOU NASTY FUCKS - Relationship, stop shipping minors
Comments: 20
Kudos: 144





	Let it be said, my dear, I was gonna wait for you

**Author's Note:**

> Did you forget I write angst? :)
> 
> Warnings! (Please don't hurt yourself when reading!)
> 
> Swearing! What seems like going crazy! Lots of Yelling, Screaming, Crying! Emotional Manipulation! Child Abuse/Manipulation! Blood (Non-Graphic)! Major Character Death! Oof Ouch This Hurts! 
> 
> Title from 'Losing Face' by Wilbur Soot!
> 
> Did I forget anything? Let me know in the comments below!

_Tubbo wrapped his hands around the disc, fingers digging into the grooves of the object, his tears falling onto it. He sobbed openly, the gentle breeze brushing against his back, sending a chill down his spine. His throat was sore as he fought to breathe. The world seemed to spin around him, filled with so much silence and yet so much noise, so cold yet so fucking hot, he couldn't handle it he couldn't he couldn't-  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, take me back, take me back take me back I want you back please come back please-"_

* * *

Tubbo sighed, listening to Fundy ramble absently. Something about preparing for the festival. He couldn't care less.  
 _No, it wasn't because the mention of the word made him want to scream, want to hide, made the burn scars across his body itch with phantom pain, no, surely not.  
  
_ "Meeting dismissed." Quackity called out, also looking extremely bored. Tubbo shot out of his seat and raced out of the room, ignoring the exclaims of surprise and weird looks from the cabinet members. Tubbo had a mission today, something more important than the stupid festival, the stuffy meetings.  
  
He was finally going to see Tommy.  
  
He had finally figured out where Tommy was staying, courtesy of Ranboo, and the compass that currently dangled around his neck. He dashed to the nether portal, where he had already stashed supplies for the journey. He grinned to himself for a short moment, before worry encompassed his mind.  
  
Is Tommy alright? _Of course, Dream said he was-_ What if exile changed him? _No, no, he's too resilient for that-  
what if he hates me, no, he wouldn't, he understands, he would understand, right? yeah, he- hes ok, hes ok, hes ok  
  
_Taking a deep breath, Tubbo stepped through the portal, forcing down the nausea it gave him. The heat of the nether washed over him, sweat already threatening to run down his back. He began to walk down the paths, being mindful of the piglins eyeing him and his lack of gold. He simply ignored them, focusing on walking across the thin bridge. Every time a ghast cried from far away he jumped, instinctively reaching for the bow on his back.  
  
He skipped along hot nether-rack, hissing when the heat went through his shoes and socks, burning at his feet. Flames surrounded the path, and lava bubbled below. He sighed, focusing on keeping his balance on the rickety bridge.  
  
Even through nether travel, it still took a good hour to reach the portal to Logsteadshire, the heat beating down on the teenagers back. He panted, lungs burning from the smoky air, thick with sulfur and ash.

He looked around, making sure Dream wasn't around. He knew the man was in L'manberg, he did, but the goat hybrid couldn't help the irrational fear that rose in his chest. Dream had been extremely strict about visiting Tommy. He would be going directly against the mans orders.  
  
But for Tommy, it was worth it. He would do anything for Tommy. _Except for keep him around.  
  
_ Tubbo straightened his posture and stepped through the portal, swallowing down his nausea once more. The purple particles swirled around his form as he stepped out of it, his shoes hitting smooth stone. He flinched a bit at the transition, sighing as he got fresh air, the breeze ruffling his hair and tickling his skin. The hybrid looked around the vividly colored area.  
  
Tall torches were neatly placed along a pristine path.   
_That should've been the first red flag. Tommy is never pristine, he never does things neatly.  
  
_ The teen walked along the path, anxiety slowly overtaking his thoughts. _What if Tommy hates me? What if he really hates me, what if what if whatifwhatifwhatif  
  
_ He brightened as he spotted large walls made of stripped logs, unevenly rising to the sky. That was definitely Tommy's doing.   
  
Tubbo neared the large structure, his nose filling with a strange, almost metallic, burning scent. Then he froze.  
His limbs began to shake, tears welling in his eyes against his will. That was the all-too-familiar, all-too-traumatizing smell of gunpowder.   
  
He forced himself to breathe, clenching his fists, nails digging into his palms to ground himself. _Focus. Maybe Tommy has gunpowder for a good reason._  
Tubbo powered forward, up to the gate of Logsteadshire. The gates swung open automatically, startling the boy. He walked forward carefully, clutching the bag hanging over his shoulder.   
  
Almost instantaneously he felt cold, sharp, stinging metal press against his neck, forcing him to gasp in surprise and stop moving in fear of having his head chopped like a chickens.  
  
"What are _you_ doing here?" The venomous tone filled the goat hybrid with a mixture of emotions. Panic, fear, dread, confusion.  
  
"T-Tommy?" He stuttered out, mindful of the blade on his throat. The weapon trembled slightly, it's holder seemingly hesitating before pulling it away, going to face the teenager head-on.  
  
Tommy stood there, his once bright blue eyes faded, full of hatred, malice, despair, grief. But most importantly, they were devoid of hope. The boy's hair was dirty and matted, so dark with mud and grime that the blond color almost looked brown. His face was covered with dust, scrapes and bruises, ripped bandages, and he had lost most of the fat on his cheeks. His clothes were ripped and torn in multiple places, seams crusted with dried mud and blood. Some scraps of his shirt were wrapped around his arms, presumably covering wounds.  
  
In short, Tommy looked absolutely terrible. His limbs had lost any meat they had on them, revealing lean muscle, built from years of hard work and fighting, defined by lack of nutrition. His shirt looked too baggy on him. _And- oh aether, is he missing a shoe?  
  
_ "What the fuck are you doing here." The tall boy growled, holding up a glinting iron sword. Bent out of shape, and chipped in multiple places, but it gleamed in the sunlight, and looked sharp enough to cut him to bits. Tubbo swallowed nervously, forcing himself to meet his friend's cold eyes.  
  
"Tom-Tommy, it's me, Tubbo, I came to visit you-"  
"For what? Huh? Come to fuckin pity me? To laugh at my misery? Fuck off. I don't need you. You had your fucking chance, Tubbo."  
He flinched, feeling the goat-like ears on the sides of his head pin backwards.   
  
"I didn't come to pity you, I promise! I wanted to come and talk to you, see how you were doing- You didn't respond to any of my letters-"  
Tommy's eyes flashed in rage. He stormed forward, shoving Tubbo onto the ground and pointing the sword at his chest.  
"What fucking letters?! You sent me _nothing_! You ABANDONED me, Tubbo. You fuckin- You tossed me out here, alone, left me to starve, left me with _Dream,_ ignored MY letters, ignored my invites, everything! I thought you were my fuckin friend!"  
"I am your friend!" Tubbo shouted, tears filling his eyes. He sat up, ignoring how the blades tip dug into his suit and pricked his chest.   
  
"I wanted to visit you! I did! I sent you letters! I even tried to visit you, but Dream wouldn't let me! I had no idea where you were, Tommy, I didn't know where that green bastard took you until Ranboo told me! I never got any letters, and I checked the mailbox every fucking day! I-" He choked on his own words, sobbing. His throat tried to close up as pain and despair ran rampant in his mind.  
  
 _he hates me he hates me its all my fault i'm the bad guy bad guy bad person bad bad bad bad i failed i failed failure failure failure-  
  
_ Tommy's shoulders shook. Tubbo managed to blink through his tears to see the large grin on Tommy's face. His eyes glinted wildly. The hybrid gasped softly, slowly trying to back away. He knew that look.  
  
 _he looks like Wilbur did when he lost his mind  
_ _oh my gods has he gone insane?  
  
_ "Oh- oh that's fucking _GOLDEN_ , Tubbo! It doesn't seem like you wanted to visit me at all! In fact, I recall you being quite fucking _HAPPY_ when you exiled me! You didn't even hesitate!" He stooped down, grabbing the shorter boy by the shirt collar, somehow hefting him up and shoving him against the walls of his base, grinning and chuckling like- like a madman.  
  
"You fucking did this to me, Tubbo. No, no, look me in the eyes- _LOOK ME IN THE FUCKING EYES, TUBBO._ " Tommy grabbed his chin, forcing him to look in those faded eyes, glinting with rage and pain and fear and _its all my fault its all my fault i failed him i failed him i didn't even try i'm such a bad friend i'm a bad person they were right they were all right-_ He sobbed, not even trying to fight him.   
  
"Tommy, what are you doing?" The cool, collected voice cut through the panicked, tense air. It seemed to flip a switch in Tommy. His eyes widened in something that could only be described as pure horror and guilt. The teen dropped Tubbo, scrambling backwards, hyperventilating.   
  
"Dream, Dream i'm sorry- He just showed up and I lost control, i'm sorry, it won't happen again, do you want my items? I fucked up, i'm sorry-"  
"Tommy, hush. You've actually done something good." Tubbo stood shakily, staring in horror at the porcelain mask that stared right back, the simple smile striking such fear into his mind. He trembled, the only thought running through his head being _i fucked up i fucked up i fucked up he's going to hurt me he's going to hurt Tommy he's going to hurt us  
  
_ "I did?!" The goat hybrid looked at his friend in shock. His tone was full of excitement, adoration, relief. The blond was staring at Dream with such anticipation and hope, it broke his heart in two.  
Dream chuckled, his hood sliding off his head. "Yes, you did. You've been very good, Tommy. Now, what happened here?"  
  
"Well, Tubbo barged in uninvited and started- started spewing bullshit about trying to visit me-"  
"It wasn't bullshit! I really did try, Tommy, but Dream-"  
"Now now Tubbo, why would you lie to your _best friend?_ " The green-clad mans tone was thick with something he couldn't name, but the tone burrowed into his mind, feeding on his pain.   
  
"I'm not lying! You- you've been controlling him, Dream, you've been controlling all of us! You-" Tubbo stopped. It all clicked.  
  
"You're trying to turn him into a puppet. You're trying to use Tommy as a fucking- a fucking machine! You're trying to use all of us!"  
"Shut up." Tommy warned, his tone low and dark. His fists were clenched, knuckles white around the hilt of his weapon.   
  
"Watch it, Tubbo. I don't think Tommy likes it when you accuse his friends of wrongdoing." Dream's voice sent chills down the hybrids spine.  
"Tommy, Tommy please, don't you see?! He's using you!"  
  
"SHUT UP!" Tommy screamed, his eyes rimmed with tears. "DREAM IS THE ONLY ONE THAT'S BEEN THERE FOR ME! NOBODY ELSE CAME TO VISIT ME! NOT EVEN YOU! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND!"  
  
"I AM YOUR FRIEND!" Tubbo's voice cracked as a sob ripped from his throat, face wet with tear tracks.  
  
Dream started to walk away. "As much as I do love some good drama, this has to end. Tommy, kill him."  
  
"What?!" The two shouted in unison, turning to face the masked figure.  
"You heard me."  
"But- Dream, he doesn't deserve-"  
  
"Doesn't deserve what, Tommy? I think he deserves it plenty. He abandoned you, laughed at you, even fucking celebrated when you were gone!"  
"But-"  
"Fucking kill him, Tommy. You don't wanna disobey me _again,_ do you?"  
  
Dream's tone was cold. Tommy seemed to shrink in on himself, whimpering. "N-no-"  
"Good boy. I expect his corpse to be on the ground when I return."  
  
The blond turned to his brunette friend, face full of guilt. Dream walked out of the encampment.  
Tubbo backed up hurriedly, his breath coming in shallow, panicked gasps. "Tommy- Tommy, please, we can talk about this-"  
"No. We can't."  
  
He rushed forward, blade raised. Tubbo shrieked, moving to the side. His arm was cut in the process, making him exclaim in shock. Blood ran down his arm, but he focused on scrambling away from the killing machine he once called a friend.   
  
The goat hybrid screeched in pain as the sharp sword pierced him, entering through the back and exciting through the stomach. Blood poured slowly from the wound, the crimson flow stopped mostly by the iron inside him. His vision swam as his legs buckled.  
  
Tubbo collapsed, the sword leaving the wound, leaving ruby liquid to run down his torso, staining his suit and draining into the grass, staining it a fierce red. He choked on his own breath, head swimming hazily. The pain radiated slowly, throbbing.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Tubbo, I'm so sorry-" Someone, _Tommy, he realized dully,_ sobbed behind him.  
The last thing he knew was the fierce pain of the sword entering again, this time exiting directly through his heart.

* * *

 _Tommy wrapped his arms around the corpse, fingers digging into the still-warm flesh, tears falling onto it's face. He sobbed openly, the gentle breeze brushing against his back, sending a chill down his spine. His throat was sore as he fought to breathe. The world seemed to spin around him, filled with so much silence and yet so much noise, so cold yet so fucking hot, he couldn't handle it he couldn't he couldn't-_  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, take me back, take me back take me back I want you back please come back please-"

**Author's Note:**

> Please take care of yourselves! Drink water, eat food, take meds, take a walk, take a nap, get some fresh air! <3


End file.
